Correspondence from the Couch
For the past week and a half, McLean, Ted, and I have been confined to our small apartment in a mandatory home isolation implemented first only in the city of Bogota, then by the entire country of Colombia. I am proud to announce that I have worn only pajamas or sweatpants every single day, I have made dinner every single night, I have exercised at least once every day, and I have baked to my heart’s content. McLean is learning Portuguese and reading his usual 3 books at a time, and we have saved more money in one week than we have in possibly any other month of our marriage. We can discuss Ted later.
A few weeks ago, the mayor of Bogota announced a 4 day “trial” isolation period, in which everyone would be mandated by law to stay inside their homes, except to take a pet outside for no more than 5 minutes, and one family member was allowed to go to the grocery, ATM, or pharmacy. If caught breaking the isolation, people could be fined or arrested. About a day or two into the “trial” isolation, it was announced that the entire country of Colombia would adopt this quarantine until April 13 (which will again probably be extended). Although rather draconian, McLean and I have appreciated the country’s commitment to the health and safety of its people and have enjoyed spending the time at home, forced to let our lives slow down a bit. When else is it perfectly acceptable to wear pajamas for weeks at a time and spend your days just lounging around? Never. Society shuns such people.
The first morning, I woke up and wandered into the living area to find McLean sitting at the dining room table in silence, attending virtual class (i.e. staring at his computer and listening to a lecture). No cars honked, no people yelled, no dogs barked; I suddenly felt overcome with joy. When I saw that our huge sliding doors were open, I was even more shocked and joyful. Normally, we cannot have a conversation with the doors and windows open because the noise from the busy street below drowns out our voices. There are a lot of things I’m actually enjoying about this quarantine, but the quiet is quite possibly my favorite part. We no longer have to essentially create a wind tunnel in our bedroom each night by turning our fans on full blast to drown out the honking and loud music that normally continues until the wee hours of the morning. The bustling streets of Bogota have been put to rest, hopefully alongside the spread of the virus here.
If you ask me what I’ve been doing the last week and a half to fight off boredom, I’m not entirely sure what I would even say. It’s as though we’re living in a sort of time warp. I’ve been spending a lot of time cooking and baking, harassing Ted, exercising in our newly converted “exercise den,” reading, writing in my journal, talking to friends, binge-watching one new show (then we couldn’t find anything else we wanted to watch), and hanging out with McLean. Every morning I wake up, open the huge blinds and sliding glass doors, drink my coffee, and contemplate how I’ll spend my day indoors, all in silence. Luckily my Spanish classes are now virtual, so that gives me something to do for about 2 hours. And I have also become McLean’s Head Director for various videos he needs to produce for school (recently, we filmed a 5-minute video 5 different times at various camera angles, despite my insistence that it did not matter because nobody would be able to tell he was reading right off his computer). I have also undertaken the task of trying recipes I have put off as too burdensome and time-consuming, like spatchcocking my first chicken, making a rather in-depth chili casserole, baking a pie, and baking a loaf of bread most nights. We also find ourselves doing things like sewing buttons back on pants that have been button-less for a while, going through thousands of emails and deleting them, cleaning furiously, exercising 3 times a day, trying to name all of the US Presidents and the years they were in office, and naming all of the wars the US has been involved in (those last 2 were, unsurprisingly, McLean only- I was merely the fact-checker) all because we legitimately don’t have anything better to do. McLean started a new Ethics Class for school that is all online through King’s College of London, and the other day his classmates were discussing how far along they were in the chapters. When McLean casually mentioned he was on chapter 12 (they were all on chapter 3), they gawked at him and one suggested that he “go talk to his wife.” McLean loves to read and learn, which is only amplified by being stuck indoors without the possibility of riding his bike or going for a run. He was EXCITED the other night, when I challenged him to name the US President’s and the years they were in office…
But, none of this talk of boredom or a lack of things to do is a complaint by any means. First of all, we are thankful to have each other (well, I’m thankful for McLean but he might not always appreciate me trying desperately to get him to play a game with me or chat while he’s trying to read), as many people are stuck inside by themselves or they’re stuck inside with small children. Neither option sounds appealing to us. Despite the high incidence of boredom in such situations, we have actually really enjoyed the last week and a half. For the first time in a really long time, nothing feels rushed, and we both agree that we really enjoy this change of pace.
Ted, on the other hand, has made it abundantly clear that he does not feel the same about our change of pace. He gets no breaks from us (mostly me), who constantly feels the need to pet him, make dumb little statements to him, ask him stupid questions, call him stupid nicknames, order him to the couch for a forced cuddling session, and get irritated at his constant presence in the kitchen. When I do yoga, I look back at the end of the class to find Ted dead asleep on the couch very obviously in a total state of zen. One time in the middle of class, he let out one of his signature deep sighs conveniently right as the teacher suggested we “let it all out.'“ When McLean works out, Ted stares at him, completely exasperated and perplexed, as if Ted thinks McLean is the dumbest person he has ever seen. His days are mostly spent sleeping on different pieces of furniture, awakening only to the sound of other dogs daring to be walked on the street under our balcony, the sound of someone in the kitchen, or the sound of his leash being picked up. Without pause, he gets the zoomies every night around 6pm, where he runs around the coffee table and dining table, throwing his heavy bone for himself, causing a major clatter and thrusting our carpets into the walls. That lasts about 1 minute, then he is right back to being sprawled out somewhere, fast asleep.
Below are pictures of things we’ve been doing- some items I’ve cooked/baked, McLean doing various things, a few pictures of the deserted streets of Bogota, but mostly just pictures of Ted sleeping. We hope you all are staying happy, healthy, and safe during this rather strange time in history!
Cheers & Blessings!
