Forget What You Learned in Driver's Ed

If someone told me today that there is no word in Arabic for "blinker" or "turn signal," I wouldn't even blink. I have been here a mere 4 days, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been behind the steering wheel. But, I can tell you from those few times that driving in Bahrain is a totally thrilling experience. 

For starters, let me explain what is termed the "Saudi swoop." You know those times when you're at a red light in the lane right beside the left turn lane and Google Maps suddenly rights itself and you realize "Shoot! This is my turn!"? Well, have no fear, because here in Bahrain you can still turn from your lane. Are you technically in a turn lane? No. Does that matter? Also no. Sure, someone might honk at you (unlikely), but hey, you made that turn happen. Good for you. 

Driving here is a free-for-all. Want to traverse three lanes of traffic, blinker-free, going 140km/hr in a 100km/hr zone? Do it. Want to completely cut someone off because you're about to miss your exit (or maybe because you just feel like it)? Do it. Want to pull out right in front of someone because you’re tired of waiting a full two seconds to merge? Do it. And the fascinating thing is, nobody cares! This is all perfectly normal! In fact, if you're not driving in a manner we Americans would call "reckless," you're in the wrong. 

They also have what some people might call “racing” stoplights here, meaning there is a yellow light between red and green. This gives people the opportunity to take their foot off the brake during the yellow light so that the second the light turns green you’re already heading through the light. And you can bet that if you’re trying to be a "safe" driver and wait until the light turns green, be prepared for a honk. Strap yourselves in tightly, ladies and gentleman, because whether you signed up for it or not, you're now an amateur racecar driver. 

A man from McLean's new command kindly volunteered to drive us around the island the other day, showing us different spots to live and more importantly, showing us how to survive as a Bahraini driver. I was positive that we were going to get into some sort of car accident, but strangely I wasn't afraid, I was wholly amused. "Wow!" I thought, "How exciting!" as I sat in the back, constantly craning my neck to see through the front window and marvel at his incredible driving feats. 

McLean very adequately described the driving scene here when he warned me a few months ago by saying "You know how sometimes you just wanna drive like a total selfish a**hole? Well, that's how people in Bahrain drive." If you're acting like you care about the other drivers on the road, you're very alone in that sentiment.

So, if you've always had a strong desire to play Grand Theft Auto in real life, come to Bahrain. You can live out that ambitious dream.